"Think of a breakup this way: you're one
step closer to the one you're meant to be with."
Breaking up is the beginning of new transition in your life. It's easy to look at an
experience in a negative way, but we'd like to challenge you to view your separation as a new beginning -- a real chance for
finding your Mr. or Ms. Right. In this advice guide you will find advice for determining whether you should make the split,
tips to show you how to actually do it and words of encouragement and comfort while you let your heart heal.
WHEN IS IT OVER?
There are few things in life that are harder on a person than the time
when they realize that the love they have worked so hard at, and spent so much time on, is finally over. For some, this realization
is a complete shock and for others, they have seen the writing on the wall for some time now.
Breakup signs are often very difficult to spot, primarily because the
people involved often do not want to admit that the relationship has failed. And unless something comes along and hits them
in the face, telling them it's over; the natural tendency is to try to work through the problems. This happens more so when
the couple have been together for a while.
The question that remains, therefore, is at what point do you really
know that it's over?
First lets start with the glaring signs that the relationship is over:
- You catch your partner in the act of having an unforgivable affair.
- Your partner uses physical violence against you.
There are however some other signs to look out for. Sometimes it is
necessary to accept the painful fact that the relationship you are in is just not good for you. While I am usually the staunchest
advocate for the "you can make it through anything as long as you have love" club, even I have to admit that there are situations
where one or both of the partners are just better off apart.
The most common instance of this is when one partner is INTENTIALLY
holding the other partner back. When two people have separate dreams and goals, friction can occur, especially if neither
of them are willing to compromise. In some instances, however, jealousy leads one of the partner's to be excessively controlling
of the other. In these situations, if they are UNRESOLVABLE, it is better to leave than stay.
Other reasons to leave include:
- You realize that you don't love your partner.
- You find yourself thinking more and more about how good single life
- You realize that your partner doesn't love you, but is with you because
they don't want to hurt you.
- You have no common interests or goals.
- You find that you cannot stand their annoying little habits, and they
- You find it impossible to be yourself around your partner.
- Your partner cuts you down, makes you feel bad about yourself, and
constantly devalues your goals and ideas.
Under no circumstances should anyone stay in a relationship that is
bad for them, just because they feel that being in a relationship, even a bad one, is better than being alone.